Sunday, March 22, 2009

Super Exitos Para "Change"

As recently reported in Washington Post, the US Border Patrol has a hit on its hands. Over the past two years, the department has been releasing a five-song CD all across Mexico, featuring upbeat tejano tunes, warning of the dangers of illegally emigrating to the United States. These anonymous "bouncy ballads of death, dashed dreams, and futile attempts at manhood" are a smash--though the audience has no clue who's behind the recordings.

After some hours
Abelardo opened his eyes
And in the middle of the cold night
Discovered his dead cousin at his side

--"The Biggest Enemy"

Before you cross the border, remember
that you can be just as much a man
by chickening out and staying
Because it's better to keep your life than ending up dead

--"20 Years"

In fact, these songs have become so popular, the Border Patrol is planning a follow-up CD later this year as well as cumbia, marimba, and merengue discs for countries south of Mexico's border.

Taking notice of the Border Patrol's apparent musical success, other departments in the Obama administration has decided to use the new propaganda tool.

Defense Secretary Robert Gates has recruited Lebanese sexpot, Nawal al Zoghbi, to record "Please Don't Kill the Infidels" for release all across the Arab market.

Incoming Commerce Secretary Bill Richardson Judd Gregg Gary Locke has already recruited Taiwanese R&B sensation, Jay Chou, to release "Buy American!" in Taiwan and China.

And with no governmental prompting whatsoever, country music star, Toby Keith, has recorded "GOP STFU," to be released this Tuesday.

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