You know, I've been calling our lovely, new Treasury Secretary, Tim Geithner, a few names recently--"Eraserhead," "The Gelding"--but, after hearing his suggestions he gave to Congress on how to punish AIG over that $160 million in bonuses, I think there's really only one word for the man ...
This is what the dastardly department head suggested:
"We will impose on AIG a contractual commitment to pay the Treasury from the operations of the company the amount of retention rewards just paid. In addition, we will deduct from the $30 billion in assistance an amount equal to the amount of those payments."
These fools crash global capitalism ... oh, skip it, I just ranted about this crap on Sunday. Besides, you know what they did. And you're going to punish them, pilfering all that "bonus" money from your treasury by ... what? ... not punishing them at all?
Why? I haven't heard anything that ridiculous since Cesar Romero donned the pancake makeup.
I mean, shit, who let you out of Arkham Asylum so you could come up with that crap?
"Wait, Bill! Why don't we ... I know ... I can get one of those hand buzzer doodads and make them shake my hand. Ooh! Then we can watch them jump out of their pants when the thing vibrates and twists!
"No, well, why don't I make 'em all sit on one, big, ginormous whooppee cushion? Boy, won't all their faces be red when we all think they've farted?!
"No ... well ... OK ... now this one is classic. This will reaaalllly show those great, dear friends of mi--I mean, those assholes. Yeah, yeah, those assholes. This'll show those assholes."
"I'm going to start wearing a flower in my lapel, see? They'll say, 'Ohhhh, what a lovely flower you have, Tim.' And I'll say, 'Why, thank you, sir. Wanna sniff.' And, just as I'm about to receive my graft, they'll bend down to sniff, and I'll spraaayyyy them with water. Heeheehee! Heeheehee! HEEEHEEEEHEEEHEEEHEEE!!!!"
No, seriously, riddle me this, O Man ...
Why does this clown still have a job?
Some people claimed, during the election, that you may have super powers. If so, Geithner's quickly turning into your kryptonite. I can't believe you so quickly abandoned your "Truth, Justice, and the American Way" spiel for this fuck-up. That you threw aside Tom Daschle and a serious chance at reforming health care so you can have this guy in Treasury. What were you thinking? Were your super powers temporarily disabled? Your powers of reasoning? Couldn't your X-ray vision see through all the bullshit he must've dumped on you?
A blind man can see this guy is wrong for the job, that he doesn't have the will nor the courage to do what needs to be done here, and that he's going to drag your Presidency and the world's economy down with him.
I admit, I haven't been a Geithner fan from jump. I'll admit that it's been quite juvenile of me to be calling him all these names. Mr. President, I don't care what you end up calling your new Treasury Secretary ...
Just please, please, PLEASE! as soon as you can, call him ...
But, hey, if we're really going to leave our country's financial fortunes in the hands of comic book characters, President Obama, may I suggest Frank Castle?
That's right, the Punisher. At least, he'll know what to do with all these corrupt bastards running around Wall Street.