Monday, November 3, 2008

Help Us, Ben Roethlisberger. You're Our Only Hope



Forget the polls, the pundits, and their spin. If you really want to know who will win tomorrow's presidential election, just watch tonight's Redskins-Steelers game. Apparently, since 1937, when the Redskins win the game before the election, the party that holds the White House keeps the White House. When the 'Skins lose, the party in power loses. 2004 was the lone exception--even Joe Gibbs's incompetence could help Kerry win.

So, Obama voters, if only for tonight, you must root for the Black 'n' Gold! The fate of the entire free world depends on their victory. And now, you, too, will have to suffer the agony of watching the crappiest line in NFL history protecting a faltering economy, our nuclear arsenal, and the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Take some of that hope that Obama's been instilling in you these past two years and direct it to Chris K, Justin Hartwig, Max Starks, Trai Essex (to believe you went to Northwestern--oh wait, you suck--I believe it), or whatever 300-pound pansy they put in pads tonight, pray that they can hold a block long enough for Big Ben to actually complete a pass for once, prostrate yourself before the ghost of Art Rooney, I don't know, sacrifice your first-born. Do what you have to do to ensure a Steeler victory tonight, and let's take back this fucking country!!!

Go Hines Ward!!!



2 comments:

RonStrelecki said...

I can't believe their record is as good as it is, considering that line. I get irritated when players "go meta" which is to say that they start "playing" other aspects of the game, instead of playing the game they are playing... Like when Receivers start trying to draw interference calls, or when that 7 foot tall Baltimore Colts guy does the seventy five second snap count hoping to draw an offsides.

It is repeatedly trumpeted in the press that "Big Ben does a better job of passing after he's been hit than any other QB in the league." Yes, it's true, but that doesn't mean he HAS TO evade tackles to throw the ball. It's a good thing to have that ability to recover, but how about you throw the damn ball fast every once in a while? It'll throw them off.

It reminds me of when the team got it in their head that they were a "Fourth Quarter Offense" and they sort of lolligagged for three quarters. They should put all those guys on a press blockout. Play the Game, not the Media. Catch the ball not the flag.

boukman70 said...

I think Ben's having problems similar to what Kordell was going through from '97-99 when his receivers averaged 10 dropped passes a game. After awhile, Kordell had so little faith that his passes would be caught his accuracy went into the crapper. I think Ben's feeling the same way about getting sacked. He's so certain that he's going down, he's holding onto the ball a bit too long. He's just been getting hammered these past two years.

And oh yeah, I will always and forever hate Peyton Manning. I'm glad he got my boy, Tony, a Super Bowl ring, but does he have to be in EVERY commercial I watch during a game?