Thursday, February 18, 2010

One "Feminist New Black Man" Rants

"Now, if you're wondering, what just exactly is a feminist new black man. Think of a crossover between RuPaul and Barney Frank."

--Jason Mattera, CPAC speech 2/18/10

I wasn't born yesterday. I know that CPAC (Conservative Political Action Conference) is nothing but White Supremacy Tea Party shenanigans for the Jet Set. So, why should I be surprised if anything offensive comes out of this week's conference. After all, aren't these the same fools who burned a cross hooted and hollered when Rush Limbaugh gave their keynote address last year? And we all know how Rush feels about the black man.

And I definitely can't be surprised that the same movement that has attached themselves fastidiously to "the party of Lincoln" while they deride its black chairman, Michael Steele, would have a Puerto-Rican American who clearly ignored his own family tree while starting the Whites Only Scholarship at Roger Williams University. So, yeah, I should've expected this light-skinned negro guardian of Whiteness, Jason Mattera, to go up in front of Massa his fellow Caucasians and deride all things multicultural.

And in his CPAC speech, Mattera had his fellow white supremacists (really, Bill, you need to stop) having the supreme white stuff dripping through their socks.

Oh yeah, he contrasts his conservative gathering to Woodstock:

“Except that unlike the last gathering, our women are beautiful, we speak in complete sentences and our notion of freedom doesn’t consist of snorting cocaine, which is certainly one thing that separates us from Barack Obama.”

Yep, Barry the Drug Dealer. But wait, it gets better:

“Actually, on the cocaine front, I do believe many people in America viewed Barack as they do drugs: it was a substance to experiment with. But like most narcotics, the hangover afterward has them thinking, What the hell did I just do?”

Because only drug abuse or insanity could explain how the country elected a nigra Prezeedent, I guess.

Come on, Bill, you're just part of the vast Left wing conspiracy who's just trying to paint every hard-working, white, earnest American who criticizes you repeatedly and starts a Whites Only scholarship, racist. Jason's not a racist. Nooooooo ... he just likes recycling old Eddie Murphy jokes.

He's like the Carlos Mencia of the Conservative Movement.

And I guess that's why he "channeled" Chris Rock when he said, "Get your government off my freedom!"

Yeah. And it wasn't his mocking jive or Ebonics but his "Brooklyn accent" when he "satirized" Obama's campaign slogan: "Yes, my brothahs and sistahs. Yes we can!" I mean, damn, you hypersensitive minority, "brothas and sistahs" isn't black--it's Brooklynese.

So, you just leave
mi hermano, Jason "Whites Only" Mattera alone!

Yes, Con Kluxers, you're right. I am overly-sensitive. None of the examples above is racial in the least. In fact, to call Mattera a "racist" wouldn't be giving him enough credit. After all, he alludes to liberal women's being ugly; when he derides college's supposed liberal agenda, he derides feminists and Native American feminists; and, to top it all off, he calls any black man who's, I guess, queer enough to consider himself a "feminist," a cross-dressing homosexual with a lisp.

No, Jason Mattera is not a racist. Not only a racist. He's apparently a sexist and homophobic racist, who, judging by all the laughs, has found a comfortable klaven within the Conservative movement.

If I were to be surprised by any of this, I would simply be a self-deluding naif who refuses to use the critical brain God has given him. And if I were to be offended, I wouldn't even know where to start.

After all, while not "new" by any stretch of the imagination, I am a feminist black man. And I'm trying to figure out what Mattera and his "fellow" whites find so damned funny about that. By using RuPaul and Barney Frank, are they saying I'm not a man in their eyes? Are they saying that RuPaul and Barney Frank aren't men? Are they saying homosexuals, transgenders, and cross-dressers are only worthy of scorn?

Of course, they are, Bill. Stop being a fucking moron.

And, to be honest, folks, I can't be angry. Because, seriously, these Conservatives can deny racism until they're blue in the face and see red anytime you accuse them of it, but events like CPAC, speeches like Mattera's, and any Teabagging protest you care to see always show their true color.

Ever since Nixon's "Southern Strategy" and the Strom Thurmonds and Jesse Helmses of the world flocked to your ranks, the Conservative movement has been nothing but choked with folks who will never openly claim their white supremacists beliefs and yet really do sound racist as hell. Your honorary white man, Jason Mattera, ain't nothing new and apparently ain't alone in this. And the fact that no fellow Conservatives ever seem to call any of these fools out, never lambaste Limbaugh, makes me think that you are all sympathetic to their cause. In fact, you laugh right along with them.

Sure, I'll buy that there are conservatives who actually do believe in lower taxes and small government (though your elected officials never seem to believe in it--judging by the deficits they constantly run up). But even they seem to be laughing at us RuPauls and Barney Franks.

And shit, fools, keep laughing. Every little smirk, every little chuckle, every single "niggar" sign is just another nail in your fucking coffin. Just look at the number. Just 40 years ago, white people made up something like 85 percent of the country. As of 2006, they only make up 74 percent. With immigration going the way it's going and Latinas having the highest birthrates in the country, what do you think America's going to look like in 10, 20 years? Do you think speeches like Mattera's, rants like Rush's, and protests like the Teabaggers' bemoaning the loss of white America ("We want our country back!!!") is really going to attract them?

Yeah, the Nuyorican Jason Mattera wasn't alone laughing at black folks at your little CPAC, but I'm guessing he wouldn't get many chuckles if he spouted that shit back in Brooklyn. In fact, I'm thinking that he'd be playing to a crowd of one--while his Latino "brothas and sistahs" were cramming the halls to see Sonia Sotomayor.

I wonder how big of a Latino audience Conservatives plan to attract with all their anti-immigrant talk of "taking all our jobs" and "literacy tests." I wonder how many blacks, how many gays Mattera's "youth-oriented" Conservative campaign is attracting? Hell, how many whites are they attracting?

Yeah. All those code words Conservatives have been using were fine and dandy and soooo darned funny when the country was overwhelmingly white. They could play that race card all day long. You could be homophobic to your hearts content.

But yall need to face it: this country was never as white as you imagined it and it's becoming less so every Rio Grande-swimming day. Less and less whites agree with your racial ideas, fewer find your jokes funny. And, even the ones who may identify with your sentiments, don't want to be identified with some of the bullshit popping out of your mouths.

So, I say, go ahead and laugh. "Hee, hee, RuPaul, you a funny motherfucker." I say laugh to your hearts' content, for your brand of asshole is, indeed, a dying breed. So, laugh, laugh, laugh! CPAC! Laugh, Jason Mattera! Laugh all the way to the grave!

Oh yeah, and Jason, if I ever see you, I will take off my heels and help you into the box.

1 comment:

Glenn said...

Well said, Mr. Campbell. I am actually glad to see the homophobia and racism displayed by troglodytes like Mattera bubbling to the surface of conventional conservatism, because, as you point out, it paves the way for their ultimate electoral irrelevance, as the population demographics change in the future. I say, let them rant, and help them complete their lonely journey to the 1860s unscathed.