OK, Nobel, We Get It ... We Hate Bush, Too!

Yeah, our last President was a complete prick who deserves a smackdown every chance we can get (actually, he deserves to burn in hell--but who am I to judge, right?), but why do yall always seem to feel that you're the ones who need to do it? And in such a limpdick fashion?

You give it to Jimmy Carter in 2002, saying to the Bush Babee, "Why can't you be more like him?" And he takes the opportunity to slam the boy as well. Kudos to you, Jimmy, ya crazy old coot!

Then you give it to Al Gore in 2007, saying, "It should've been you, Al. It should've been you."

And now you give the Nobel Peace Prize to The Big O, saying, "Only very rarely has a person to the same extent as Obama captured the world's attention and given its people hope for a better future"?

Don't get me wrong, I love The Big Brother--even when he's pissing me off--he does give me hope for the future, and it tickles me pink to be able to now call him "The Nobel Savage." But come on, the man hasn't even been in office for a year yet. And he hasn't really done much on the global peace front. In fact, he still has to extricate our country from two wars while his generals are begging for more troops in one of them (for the record, history has yet to meet a general who has ever asked for less troops--how can you take their cries but so seriously?) while he continues to saber rattle with Iran. I'm glad he gave up the Bush wet dream of a "missile shield" in Poland and the Czech Republic, but that's hardly Nobel-worthy.

I know the Peace Prize isn't the Lifetime Achievement Award that the Literature Prize is. I know it can be given for extraordinary events. But what Obama's done so far can hardly be called "extraordinary." It's like giving the Literature Prize to Boris Pasternak just because he wrote Doctor Zhivago!

Oh, right. I guess you did do that.

Anyway ... your decision is still a bit of a surprise. I'm sure when you woke Obama up in the middle of the night to tell him he won, he was like, "Norwegian, what?!"

Who knew your hatred for W. was so strong that you were willing to give his successor the award immediately after he took office just because he was not Bush? I mean, if you hate the man so much, why don't you just go TP his house in Texas? Or better yet, why don't you send billions of dollars in development aid to Afghanistan and help build that country. Now, that would show some real cojones and would definitely chaff that cowpoker's ass!

Instead, now Barack's gotta go all the way to cold-ass Norway in the middle of your cold-ass winter to get an award even he probably thinks he doesn't deserve. I mean, yeah sure, the speech will be good, but I can just hear Rush now talking about how the Nobel Peace Prize should be called the Affirmative Action Prize.




(Author's Note: Actually, Limbaugh emailed Politico, saying: "They love a weakened, neutered U.S and this is their way of promoting that concept. I think God has a great sense of humor, too." Of course, what he and other chickenhawks like him don't realize is that nothing weakens and neuters a great power more than being bogged down in a couple of military adventures they have no chance of succeeding in. They are the ones who have castrated American military power. No one else deserves that honor.)